The power of that word is knee rattling for me. It’s so potent and overwhelming I’ve been known to cry when I finally get to type the words “fin” at the end of a manuscript. There is a rush of adrenalin, fear, excitement and then….fear. A dash of exhilaration and a sense of accomplishment and did I mention the fear?
What if it’s crap? I mean, this isn’t bad poetry I get to tuck in a journal somewhere and hide until it’s drum circle time….this is a BOOK. 1) People are going to read this. (If the publishing gods are kind.) 2) Critics are going to review this and rate this puppy. (For people to see and decide whether or not to read it. (See point 1.) 3) My husband is going to give me ‘that look’ that says “Okay, honey…can we get off welfare yet?” and 4) I’m going to have to sit behind this thing at book signings and pray that somebody picks one up and does more than ask me where the restrooms are located. (See point 1 again.)
This is the best and worst part of being a writer. Now, I hit send and the wheels of publishing turn. Edits are made and we’re rolling. Oh, man. Hear that? That’s the sound of a roller coaster moving up the track to that unavoidable peak where you can see all the possibilities…just before it plummets into a heart-stopping ride.
Complaining? No way! I wouldn’t trade this feeling for anything in the world. Bring it on! Because I know the secret that only my innermost soul let’s me whisper in the dark. I haven’t written my best book. Not by a long shot. So every book is one more step toward getting it right.
So maybe that’s the consolation. I’ll never be finished.
BUT I’m one more manuscript closer!! (whoooohoooo!)
Can I get an amen?